tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17441748932680793322024-02-20T18:27:47.511-06:00Complete SpazI needed one place to better organize my rants, random thoughts and borderline obsessive behavior. A girl can't live on 140 characters alone.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.comBlogger98125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-42199962887243441972010-10-15T17:17:00.000-05:002010-10-15T17:17:57.370-05:00Moving On Up...I finally caved and signed up for a tumblr account and I have to admit, it's substantially easier to keep updated. I may still use this for longer posts, or I may not. Whims. I haz dem.<br />
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<a href="http://bashville.tumblr.com/">http://bashville.tumblr.com/</a> is where you can find me and updates post automatically to facebook & twitter (@bashville)<br />
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Werd.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-10960899524710765152010-09-24T13:53:00.000-05:002010-09-24T13:53:07.039-05:00Procrastination Is My Middle Name & Avoidance Is The Name Of The GameActually my middle name is Ann but it sounded better than calling this "BS You Didn't Really Care To Know About Me." Nothing has struck my blogging fancy lately and I was just settling in to do one of these "getting to know you" surveys on Ye Olde Facebook to kill time and I thought "hey self, you should really share this useless information with the masses!" Which brings us to this.<br />
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1. What time did you get up this morning? Hit snooze at 5:45 except I really hit off instead and woke up again at 7:00. Yay me!<br />
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2. How do you like your steak? Practically still mooing.<br />
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3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Despicable Me. Unicorns, I love them <br />
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4. What is your favorite TV show? New season just started, my DVR is smoking and threatening to run away but I have to say Castle. I want to hug the writers and bring them cake they're so good.<br />
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5. If you could live anywhere, where would it be? Right on the beach. I'm not picky about the beach. Well, anywhere but Jersey.<br />
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6. What did you have for breakfast? Banana bread but lets pretend it was oatmeal with almond milk.<br />
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7. What is your favorite food? All of it with very few exceptions. But if I could never have a burger again I'd probably wade out in to Lake Michigan wearing cement shoes.<br />
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8. What foods do you dislike? Cooked peas, raw papaya but will eat both if I have to. Not together though without some persuasion.<br />
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9. Favorite Place to Eat? Toro Sushi. The girls and I draw spectators with our gluttony. Alternate answer: anywhere you're buying.<br />
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10. Favorite dressing? A nice balsamic vinegarette<br />
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11. I drive ... everyone crazy<br />
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12. What are your favorite clothes? Jeans. They're my everything. <br />
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13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Anywhere. Spain & Italy are high on the list right now but I make no promises I'd come home.<br />
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14. Glass half empty or half full? Half full, on my way for a refill<br />
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15. Where would you want to retire? If I ever get to retire I will consider that victory enough.<br />
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16. Favorite time of day? Anytime I'm laughing.<br />
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17. Where were you born? In a hospital. In Grand Rapids, MI<br />
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18. What is your favorite sport to watch? HOCKEY! GO HAWKS!<br />
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19. What's your favorite color? Yellow. You just wouldn't know it from all the black I wear. I'm kind of like the happiest Goth in the world.<br />
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20. What person, living or dead, would you most like to have dinner with? Jim Henson. Anyone that said "You know what I want to do with my life? Make people happy. With puppets." is a hero in my book.<br />
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21. Do you think anyone is still reading this? Not at all,. But if you are, good for you for hanging in there. There really is no payoff on your end.<br />
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22. Bird watcher? Unless the birds are humping or picking at something dead I don't usually notice.<br />
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23. Are you a morning person or a night person? You're usually safe anytime after I've caffinated. Anytime before that you proceed at your own risk. My bitchface kills.<br />
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24. Do you have any pets? Not at the moment unless you count dust bunnies but I haven't resorted to naming them yet.<br />
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25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? Uh. Sun came up this morning. So, there's that.<br />
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26. What did you want to be when you were little? The Pope. I swear to God. Which ironically immediately eliminates me from the running.<br />
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27. What is your best childhood memory? Getting a brother. (AWWW) Seriously, we're like a snark tag-team. Pity my mother.<br />
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28. Are you a cat or dog person? I like both, but I lean towards cats. Mostly because I can't have a unicorn.<br />
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29. Are you married? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH no HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH<br />
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30. Always wear your seat belt? Yes. I'm a safety girl.<br />
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31. Been in a car accident? Yes. Not tempting fate either way on this one.<br />
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32. Any pet peeves? Total disregard for grammar and spelling. People that call repeatedly but don't leave messages. People that leave vague messages. Wafflers. Itchy tags in clothing.<br />
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33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? I like a nice large sausage. *rimshot* *rimshot for the word rimshot*<br />
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34. Favorite Flower? Lilacs. I love them so much I want to roll around in them.<br />
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35. Favorite ice cream? Haagen Daaz Bailey's Irish Cream. I would roll around in it as well.<br />
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36. Favorite fast food restaurant? Chipotle. I swear they put crack in the cilantro lime rice.<br />
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37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? Sore subject. More than once. I am not a good failer.<br />
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38. From whom did you get your last email? My snark tag-team partner.<br />
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39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? If you've ever seen my eyes glaze over at the sight of a Sephora, that's an easy question.<br />
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40. Do anything spontaneous lately? I just flashed the monitor.<br />
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41. Like your job? Until I find someone willing to pay me for being awesome, it'll work. (If you are willing to pay me for being awesome, please contact me)<br />
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42. Like Broccoli? Sure do. You just may not want to spend a lot of time with me in enclosed spaces afterwards.<br />
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43. What was your favorite vacation? I went to an all inclusive in Mexico by myself for a week. It was weird at first but I was so relaxed by the end of the week I was like a noodle. I also learned choice Spanish phrases.<br />
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44. Last person you went out to dinner with? Marci. If you know her, you know this is good. If you don't, I feel sorry for you.<br />
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45. What are you listening to right now? Mika's "Grace Kelly"<br />
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46. How many tattoos do you have? One. I have 3 more picked and desired. I'm just waiting for my money tree to leaf out.<br />
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47. Coffee Drinker? If it's caffinated, I'll drink it. Even though I was asked to never drink Red Bull again for the sake of humanity.<br />
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There you have it. Anything else you want to know? Stalkers, start your engines!Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-55132256678459863272010-08-26T12:40:00.000-05:002010-08-26T12:40:33.186-05:00No But Seriously......are Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg the same person?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/THam3HyHXWI/AAAAAAAAAZM/6Hl9D0LUYXM/s1600/michael-cera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/THam3HyHXWI/AAAAAAAAAZM/6Hl9D0LUYXM/s320/michael-cera.jpg" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/THamtVgZyHI/AAAAAAAAAZE/JojnwbRruk8/s1600/jesse_eisenberg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ox="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/THamtVgZyHI/AAAAAAAAAZE/JojnwbRruk8/s320/jesse_eisenberg.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Are you <em>sure</em>?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-60480149666969296672010-08-26T12:20:00.003-05:002010-09-29T09:32:01.068-05:00Sometimes They Come BackIt could be you’ve had a falling out. Perhaps they were getting just a little too stalkeriffic for your taste. It’s possible you accepted them out of a guilty conscience. Maybe if you see one more Farmville request you’re going to attempt a self lobotomy. Whatever the reason, they are your friend on facebook and you want them gone. So, you slip in, under cover of night, (and maybe several glasses of wine, no judgment) hit that sweet delete button, exhale a sigh of relief and fall asleep (or pass out, again, no judgment.)<br />
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Time passes, the sun continues to rise and set and you sit content with the idea that you got away with it. No bitchy emails, no passive aggressive sighing, just a blissfully quiet facebook timeline. Then, with no warning…it appears. The facebook RE-friend request. <br />
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Is it mistake? Clearly they’ve noticed you’re no longer their friend. Yet, there it is. Do they think YOU’VE made a mistake? Even in my deepest wine soaked haze (ahem) I’ve never “accidentally” deleted anyone. What to do? Do you add them again with hopes of sneaking away for a second time? (It’ll never work; they’re totally watching you now.) Do you ignore and risk the potential re-RE-request? <br />
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You can always block them but that seems so drastic, so final. I say fight fire with fire. Accept the request and take up drunken Mafia Wars.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-28966114877577889162010-08-18T13:08:00.000-05:002010-08-18T13:08:22.520-05:00UPDATEAs of yet, Joe Manganiello has not agreed to have my babies. However, he also has not NOT agreed. I'm taking this as a positive.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-7999442058071038182010-08-17T16:51:00.000-05:002010-08-17T16:51:45.333-05:00MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE<div style="text-align: center;">It's official...a new obsession has bloomed. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/TGsDz_iAzmI/AAAAAAAAAY8/6njjdhRnvTw/s1600/JOEBOY.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" ox="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/TGsDz_iAzmI/AAAAAAAAAY8/6njjdhRnvTw/s640/JOEBOY.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Joe Manganiello, have my babies.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-27816438467496664392010-07-14T13:19:00.000-05:002010-07-14T13:19:59.540-05:00The Plug Has Yet To Be PulledThis blog is just playing dead...it's pretty damn convincing isn't it? I swear I'll try to post something in the near future even if it's just to thrust more musical opinion upon you. (heh heh, "thrust upon")<br />
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Thanks to you persistant few that check back regularly to see if there is anything new is this vast digital wasteland, you are my favorite stalkers.<br />
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Until then, hugs, kisses & tuna fishes.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-624714732837805822010-03-26T14:16:00.000-05:002010-03-26T14:16:03.716-05:00Cheap A$$ ChicMoney and I don't get to party together very often, but I also don't do well sitting around just dreaming of things. Combine this with being raised to appreciate a bargain (trust me, I'll tell anyone that will listen when I get a deal, even if they're running in the opposite direction) and I've developed a certain knack for thrift.<br />
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So, in what may or may not become a regular feature...contigent on my attention span...allow me to introduce you to some of my fave deals and steals I've uncovered.<br />
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Let's start with music. If you read this blog or my tweets with any regularity (and you should be) you know that I'm...in a word...obsessed. However, cds ain't cheap and I know too many musicians who depend on music for their living to illegally download music without being wracked with guilt. The only way around this was to find as many sources of free music as I could!<br />
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<a href="http://one-track-mind.com/">One Track Mind</a>: Get a song (sometimes more than one) a day emailed right to you! It's the ultimate for lazy music lovers. You can also follow them on twitter @OneTrackTweet. I've received everything from indie bands on up to the majors although there is a secret satisfaction with latching on to a band early. If you miss anything, there are monthly rewinds available.<br />
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Free on iTunes: Every Tuesday iTunes releases it's new Single of the Week, Free Video and sometimes a Discovery Download. In the iTunes store, go to music and you'll see "Free On iTunes" in the menu on the far right. But that's not all! The single most useful app on Facebook (don't give me that Farmville face) is the "<a href="http://apps.facebook.com/freeonitunes/?ref=ts">Free on iTunes</a>" app. Here you will find redemption codes for 10, 20 even 30 song samplers available for free download. I can't tell you how many hundreds of dollars worth of music I've gotten with this app. Not all the songs will be your favorites but for free WHO CARES?<br />
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Amazon MP3s: Follow @amazonmp3 on twitter. No, seriously, do it right now. I'll wait.<br />
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*whistling*<br />
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Now that you are following them you probably don't need me to tell you about all the bargains you can snap up through them but I'm going to anyway. This is the place to be for their daily deals which are full albums, both new and classic, offered at DRASTICALLY reduced prices. Like $1.99 or $3.99. Crazy. They also tweet out when new free tracks are available. These are all limited time offers so you need to grab them quickly but you are rewarded for your efforts. Because I'm a swell person, I'll link you right to the free music on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/search/ref=sr_hi_2?rh=i%3Adigital-music-ss%2Cn%3A%21195211011%2Cn%3A%21251258011%2Cn%3A318768011&bbn=334896011&ie=UTF8&qid=1269630637">Amazon.com</a> too.<br />
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There, that should keep you busy for awhile. Cheers to your eardrums! Don't forget, if in the midst of all this free music gluttony, you come across an artist you love...do them a solid and buy the whole album, concert ticket or maybe a t-shirt or cap.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-74480099356806191892010-02-23T12:17:00.000-06:002010-02-23T12:17:28.114-06:00The Olympic Spirit Will Probably Never Include Me<div style="text-align: center;">Whilst watching Olympic Ice Dancing last night (yes really) there was a pair from France that was retiring after these Games, after skating together since they were 9 years old, making last night's final their last competitive skate together. To mark the occasion the theme of their free skate was the story of their career. It made me think, if I were in the same situation...what would MY theme be?</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Easy. I would skate <strong>"The Story of Eighth Grade!"</strong></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">My partner (who would look like this and would have harbored secret love for me since the first moment he saw me...of course)</div><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Would be simply costumed in a pair of light wash Z Cavariccis</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QYQaq6TxI/AAAAAAAAAW8/daw0-mFigTQ/s1600-h/cavariccis.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QYQaq6TxI/AAAAAAAAAW8/daw0-mFigTQ/s320/cavariccis.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">and a jacket that is both a wink & a nod to our home country (USA! USA!) and Arsenio Hall (WOOFWOOFWOOF)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QYhL-mesI/AAAAAAAAAXE/aWHirHWiLcM/s1600-h/1007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QYhL-mesI/AAAAAAAAAXE/aWHirHWiLcM/s320/1007.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I, on the otherhand, would require a costume of layered complexity. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One that reflected my conflict between my feelings for my skating partner and the other love in my life:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QY4Fp_zDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/7oa1qkdRhog/s1600-h/joeyshirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QY4Fp_zDI/AAAAAAAAAXM/7oa1qkdRhog/s320/joeyshirt.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">(except mine would be a Donnie shirt. Duh)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The bottom would add elements of style as well as danger:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QZzvRDLdI/AAAAAAAAAXU/zYjwlpWkVX8/s1600-h/overall+shorts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QZzvRDLdI/AAAAAAAAAXU/zYjwlpWkVX8/s320/overall+shorts.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">One strap left down...naturally.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Finally everything would be capped off quite literally with a salute to Blossom:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QZ_mgVvFI/AAAAAAAAAXc/LbOCRvZ-_Fc/s1600-h/blossomhat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ct="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S4QZ_mgVvFI/AAAAAAAAAXc/LbOCRvZ-_Fc/s320/blossomhat.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<div align="center">We would skate to a medley of songs:</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">"If Wishes Came True" - Sweet Sensation</div><div align="center">"Electric Youth" - Debbie Gibson (including our signature lift "The Hammer")</div><div align="center">"I'll Be Loving You (Forever)" - New Kids On The Block</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">After our triumphant finale at center ice, my faithful partner would drop to one knee and proposes marriage.</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">I'd caress his face, kiss his cheek and whisper "I'll think about it,"</div><div align="center"><br />
</div><div align="center">and begin my new career as an Olympic snowboarder.</div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-50973663785120166952010-02-09T19:59:00.000-06:002010-02-09T19:59:56.025-06:00I Bet You Think This Song Is About YouActually, I WISH these songs were about me.<br />
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<strong>Jon McLaughlin - "Perfect"</strong><br />
Something about this song turns me uncharacteristically ooey gooey lovey dovey. Perhaps it's the line "And in this life if I could have one thing I don't deserve, then I have never wanted anybody else but her." Maybe it's just that I want someone to think I'm perfect. More than likely the latter.<br />
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<strong>Mika - "Blue Eyes"</strong><br />
How many times can a blue eyed blonde be subjected to "Brown Eyed Girl" before she throws a stabby jealous tantrum? Thanks to this song, the world may never know.<br />
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<strong>New Kids On The Block - "I'll Be Loving You (Forever)"</strong><br />
I have wanted this song to be about me since I was 13 years old. The desire is hardwired into my psyche as evidenced by the fact that after all these years I still remember "Forever" is parenthesized. To be quite honest, if I had any proof this song WAS about me, I'd put it on my resume. <br />
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P.S. Donnie I love you!<br />
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<strong>Parachute - "She (For Liz)"</strong><br />
People. My name is already in the song. The fact that I've never met anyone in the band Parachute means NOTHING. It could happen.<br />
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<strong>Eric Clapton - "Wonderful Tonight"</strong><br />
Lots of people have had songs of everlasting love written about them but how many people looked so SMOKING HOT one night that they had an iconic song written about it? This girl wants it. She wants it bad.<br />
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<strong>Jeff Buckley - "Everybody Here Wants You"</strong><br />
One of the sexiest songs ever written. Someone wrapping around you, whispering in your ear that everyone in the room wants you. Incredibly hot. At least until you stop and think how many people have done it to your song and then it starts to get a little creepy but STILL.<br />
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<strong>Van Morrison - "Into The Mystic"</strong><br />
I have NO IDEA what this song is actually about, I just think it would be really cool to be the inspiration behind it. Well...me and marijuana. Clearly.<br />
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<strong>Ray LaMontagne - any song he's ever done</strong><br />
I'm serious. Love song, break up song, songs about cigarettes...I don't care! I'm totally open, because Ray, even though your beard scares me more than a little bit, one song and I'm yours.<br />
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There you go kids...get to writing...you know where to find me.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-20000942715910082722010-02-02T13:43:00.000-06:002010-02-02T13:43:18.575-06:00Meh.<div align="center"><insert witty blog type thing here></div><div align="center"><br />
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</div><div align="center">I've got nothin' folks. Total blog blockage. I need Activia for my brain.</div><div align="center"><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-19073778582703772042010-01-16T21:48:00.001-06:002010-01-17T11:02:51.027-06:00The Hidden Dangers Of Single LivingThese are not new concerns. They've been covered by 30 Rock's Liz Lemon (choking, slipping in the tub). They brought about the end to a morbid fantasy in Bridget Jones's Diary (dying alone and being eaten by Alsatians). However, these hazards too often fall by the wayside. They are...<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><strong>The Hidden Dangers Of Single Living</strong><br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;">The likelihood of a pack of wild dogs roaming the city and getting past several doors to my third floor walkup may be slim but my daily life as a single woman, living alone is FRAUGHT WITH DANGER!<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>Deadly Delivery</strong> - Murphy's Law states that UPS will only make a delivery to my home at the very moment I am least prepared. I could spend hours sitting and waiting but the moment I decide to change and am sans pants, there's the buzzer. What to do? Ignore it and get stuck in tango of delivery slips back and forth and back and forth that I know will ultimately end up in a trip to the UPS center? OR, do I risk it...try to pull on the nearest bottom-type clothing while hopping to the door and scrambling down all those stairs to make it before the UPS man leaves? That scenario is just ripe for a broken neck.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>Bedding Bedlam -</strong> One of life's greatest simple pleasures is fresh, clean bedding but the process is anything but simple for the single woman. Getting the pillowcases on all those pillows (regular, decorative pillow shams, body pillows, throw pillows) is exhausting. Follow that with the daunting task of getting the down comforter back in to the duvet cover is a recipe for disaster. If I were capable of the contortions needed to accomplish this in one quick move, I'm sure I'd have more people willing to make my bed for me. So instead, I have to half crawl inside to reach the far corners. One slipped step on a carelessly thrown shoe, bra or cat could mean a cracked skull on the corner of the dresser and my cat hasn't mastered 911. Yet.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>Oops I Did It Again</strong> - The best way to nip a hangover in the bud is to eat something to soak up the booze before sleeping on it. After much (totally unscientific) research, pizza, with it's hearty protein and carb combination, is one of the best foods for this problem. However with all that booze sloshing around, even the best intentions can go awry. One moment the pizza is ready to go in the oven the next moment it's either 7 am and the oven has been on all night or it's 4 am and the smoke alarm is screaming about the pizza that has been abandoned in the oven. For these very reasons, I find it much safer to keep microwavable pizza rolls on hand although the trade off is waking up the next morning with a scorched mouth, throat and often chin. Impatience, drunkiness and little bombs of molten sauce and cheese make dangerous bedfellows.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>A Jarring Experience</strong> - I want pickles. I have a jar of pickles. Life seems good. Fast-forward 10 minutes to me sweating, cursing, still struggling to open the #!@#)&$ jar. With that much pent up pickle frustration (that's what she said) it's all too easy for something in the forehead to just go POP.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><strong>Sometimes You Only Wish To Die</strong> - The same Murphy who wrote the UPS delivery Law (I really <em>hate</em> that guy) also states that attractive neighbors of the opposite sex will only appear in the laundry room at the same time as me when I am washing something I do not want them to see. Sure, nice enough people come and go whilst the towels and sheets are taking a tumble but the truly interesting people will only arrive at the time you are moving the...ahem..delicates from one place to the next. This neighbor will of course want to exchange pleasantries while I am trying to move at speeds I am not equipped with the grace to handle in order to conceal my armload of undies. I make it back to my apartment with a smug smile of satisfaction. I was cute but mysterious, I was a DELIGHT. 45 minutes later I return to fetch the troublesome bundle from the dryer only to find the Winnie The Pooh briefs I must have dropped layed out nicely on top of the dryer. It couldn't even have been the hot pink thong. Winnie. The. Pooh. Dying of embarrassment is an unlikely way of going but IT COULD HAPPEN!<br />
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</div><div align="left" style="text-align: center;">This has been an Eyewitness Special Report. Now back to the studio...<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-25246818986317690332010-01-05T10:42:00.000-06:002010-01-05T10:42:46.192-06:00Why It's Good To Have Friends With Mad SkillzBecause you get stuff like this for your birthday!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S0NrNQ4voYI/AAAAAAAAAWE/WoXlpfpu9AQ/s1600-h/liz-cake.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/S0NrNQ4voYI/AAAAAAAAAWE/WoXlpfpu9AQ/s320/liz-cake.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Much more SFW than the combo of Rob Pattinson and frosting I usually imagine.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I kind of rock the Bella hair don't I? And look smokin' with Rob. Now all I need is Kristin Stewart's body, boyfriend, professional hairstylist and an alternate universe!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Maybe next year.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-18472842265101889392009-12-29T12:31:00.003-06:002009-12-29T12:49:43.427-06:00Sometimes The Packaging Needs It's Own Warning Label<div style="text-align: center;">Someone who knows me all too well got me this for Christmas:<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzpF6Lx__7I/AAAAAAAAAVw/2no5zlLGBa8/s1600-h/airhornfront.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzpF6Lx__7I/AAAAAAAAAVw/2no5zlLGBa8/s320/airhornfront.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I know, I know...who thought that was a good idea? But nevermind that, I'm leaving it in the packaging until I discover it's true destiny. Speaking of the packaging, can we discuss this? My first clue that something was amiss is right on the front. "For Ages 6 And Up." WHO IN GOD'S NAME WOULD PUT THIS IN THE HANDS OF A 6 YEAR OLD? People who hate that child's parents, that's who.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">But that was just the beginning...then I turned it over.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Things start out straightforward enough: <em>Hold upright. Do not shake. Press down firmly on cap.</em> <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Good, clear directions.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Then it starts to get iffy. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Let your favorite team know you're rooting for them. Use while biking, jogging, camping.</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A) Are those 2 stand alone statements or one strange statement? Maybe if you did less biking, jogging and camping on the sidelines of your favorite sport, less airhorn would be needed.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">B) Why would you use this while camping? To scare bears away? To announce to your fellow campers "HEY! HEY! I veered off the trail to look at a bunny and got lost"? This is why I don't camp.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">C) I don't know which is funnier, the idea of a a biker using this or a jogger using it to announce their presence to people in their way. Can't you just jog around them? I might take up jogging if it's airhorn sanctioned. (Stop laughing.)<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Fits in purse, briefcase and glove compartment. Police Department recommended. </em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Attracts attention and is easy to use.</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Generic Police Department recommended eh? I take this to mean I will not get in any sort of trouble should I choose to use it on annoying coworkers or fellow public transportation riders. Even if it's just to call them out on offenses. "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNK! PENALTY! ILLEGAL DOUBLE SEAT USAGE" "HOOOOOONNNNNK! PENALTY! OVERSIZED BACKPACK LEFT ON DURING RUSH HOUR AND ALL UP IN MY PERSONAL SPACE" "HOOOOOONNNNNK! GET YOUR OWN DAMN TONER CARTRIDGE"<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So, thank you generous friend for my airhorn. Just imagine the fun once I open it. <br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-26575427391152605092009-12-22T10:10:00.001-06:002009-12-22T10:57:23.566-06:00Worst. Toy. Ever.Things that make you go "hmmm"...and "wait, you're serious?" I find this right up on the top of that list. Three words: Joan. Jett. Barbie. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzDr8yZJo-I/AAAAAAAAAVc/-qCpQqmYQ60/s1600-h/joanjettbarbie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzDr8yZJo-I/AAAAAAAAAVc/-qCpQqmYQ60/s320/joanjettbarbie.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Three more words: What. The. Fuck.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">At what point did someone think making one of the foremost female rockers, the "godmother of punk" into a BARBIE DOLL? I'm guessing it's someone who heard Britney Spears version of "I Love Rock 'n" Roll" while watching "Crossroad" (let's not dwell on how I know that). The same person probably wrote this copy:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>Have you ever said (or sung) "I Love Rock 'n' Roll"? If so, you're gonna love this doll! An acclaimed guitarist and one of the greatest leading ladies of rock, Joan Jett is a legendary singer and songwriter. Featuring her look and rock 'n' roll spirit, the Joan Jett Barbie Doll is part of the Ladies of the '80s collection and a must-have for her many fans! Includes doll and guitar, and stands approximately 11 1/2-inches tall.</em> <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The warning labels make for far more interesting copy:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Small parts. Not for children under 3 years.</em> <br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Ok, I can see that, little shoes and accessories.<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: left;"><em>WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD-Toy contains a small ball. Not for children under 3 years.</em> <br />
</div><div style="text-align: left;">Wait. What? Where is there a small ball? PLEASE PLEASE let it come with a tiny ball gag! Now we're talking authenticity!<br />
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At least they didn't give Joan-doll Barbie's usual mythical proportions. Although something tells me the real Joan Jett would find THAT amusing.<br />
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However, it must be said...I think the Cyndi Lauper doll is pretty fantastic.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzDukfDHhJI/AAAAAAAAAVk/19xVIh-ev34/s1600-h/CyndiDoll.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SzDukfDHhJI/AAAAAAAAAVk/19xVIh-ev34/s320/CyndiDoll.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">HER copy brings the giggles (and SCREAMS possibly drunk copywriter):<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">"Girls Just Want to Have Fun"… especially Cyndi Lauper! Cyndi is one of the foremost female singer/songwriters who left her mark on pop culture, and this Cyndi Lauper Barbie Doll really displays the popular singer's trend-setting fashion sense and spunk. She's part of the Barbie Ladies of the '80s collection. Have some fun of your own as you gaze admiringly at her "Time After Time"! Stands about 11 1/2-inches tall. <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I want it for the hair alone. What can I say, I'm a mystery wrapper in an enigma coated with God knows what.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Both dolls can be found at <a href="http://www.entertainmentearth.com/">http://www.entertainmentearth.com/</a> in the Barbie "Ladies of the 80's" collection. I DO have a birthday coming up. Just saying.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-38023121596824609502009-12-15T13:54:00.000-06:002009-12-15T13:54:59.647-06:00Kewl Yule<div style="text-align: center;">The 2,498,823rd time hearing "All I Want For Christmas (Is You)" have you feeling anything BUT jolly? <br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">Try some of these slightly-off-the-radar holiday tunes!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Come On Santa " - The Raveonettes<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Still about the jiggly man in red, but dreamier, cooler</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"The First Noel/Mary Mary" - Sarah McLachlan<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>McLachlan takes a traditional song and mixes it up with a world sound and a bluesy chaser</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"The Twelve Pains Of Christmas" - Bob Rivers<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Arguably the best of all River's Christmas parodies, a classic.</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>FINE! YOU'RE SO SMART <strong>YOU</strong> RIG UP THE LIGHTS!</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Nuttin For Christmas" - Sugarland<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Fun fact: Sugarland replaced all the names in the song with names of fellow Country singers</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"What Christmas Means To Me" - Stevie Wonder<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Stevie Wonder magic + Christmas magic = Awwwwwesome</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Funky, Funky Xmas" - New Kids On The Block<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>It's like the holiday cheese ball. You don't think you want it, but you'll eat it up!</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"My Grown Up Christmas List" - Kelly Clarkson<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Beautiful message...ok fine, I just wanted a Kelly Clarkson song</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Auld Lang Syne (Artist Medley)" - Sara Bareilles, Jim Bianco, Cary Brothers, Buddy, Holly Conlan, Marie Digby, Katie Herzig, Jesca Hoop, Laura Jansen, Tim Jones, Greg Laswell, Lenka, Anya Marina, Jonah Matranga, Ingrid Michaelson, Meiko, Joshua Radin, and Butch Walker<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Haunting, gorgeous and features everyone under the sun</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" - The Pretenders<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>My #1 fave Christmas song and who's cooler than the Pretenders?</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Underneath The Mistletoe" - Blondfire<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>I found this holiday EP by accident on iTunes and I'm absolutely in love with it. Sweet & catchy</em><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Winter Wonderland" - Kate Havnevik<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Listening to this version while actually walking in the snow is a sublime life experience</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Last Christmas" - Jimmy Eat World<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>I can't knock the original Wham version, but Jimmy Eat World hips it up a bit</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">"Christmas Piglet" - Presidents Of The United States of America<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><em>Just makes me laugh and shake like a bowl full of jelly</em><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Hopefully these and some heavily spiked 'nog will get you through.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-25718323614149097282009-12-09T11:00:00.002-06:002009-12-09T11:01:23.983-06:00I Should Have Packed A Change Of Pants<a href="http://money.cnn.com/news/newsfeeds/articles/globenewswire/179929.htm">The Twilight Saga: Eclipse will hit IMAX screens as well as conventional theaters on June 30th, 2010!</a> <br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Several stories of RPattz? YES PLEASE! That in addition to the sleeping bag scene and GOD WILLING the infamous leg hitch...things just got a little more interesting!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That release would be 202 days from now for those playing along at home.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-77987692251049512612009-12-08T12:31:00.003-06:002009-12-08T12:32:42.063-06:00It's Going To Be A Long, Cold, Glee-less Winter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/Sx6aoet4yzI/AAAAAAAAAU8/YuYYbBTvXxI/s1600-h/glee_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" er="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/Sx6aoet4yzI/AAAAAAAAAU8/YuYYbBTvXxI/s320/glee_logo.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'm thrilled Glee is a success and was picked up for a full season. I really am. However with this joy comes first the pain of a needed break to film the second half of the season. This means tomorrow is the last episode UNTIL APRIL.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I wrote a haiku to express my torment:<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><strong>What? No Glee for months?</strong></em></span><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><strong>Drama queen within tells me</strong></em></span><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><em><strong>Just curl up and die.</strong></em></span><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-19870876301613530252009-12-03T16:02:00.001-06:002009-12-03T16:04:54.999-06:00What's Gonna Work? TEEEAAAMWORK!<a href="http://www.suntimes.com/entertainment/zwecker/1918118,CST-FTR-zp03.article">'Twilight' stars join forces to negotiate contracts :: CHICAGO SUN-TIMES :: Bill Zwecker</a><br />
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The holy Twi-nity sticks together. WEEE! Other reasons this is awesome, deals were already inked previously for 4 movies, meaning Breaking Dawn will almost certainly be TWO films (necessitating a contract for a 5th movie.)<br />
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HIGH FIVE!<br />
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Or not. Way to leave a girl hanging.Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-66526885500728304002009-12-01T10:21:00.000-06:002009-12-01T10:21:46.265-06:00World AIDS DayToday I need to take a break from my usual snarkfest. December 1st is World AIDS Day. I first became involved with AIDS charities and movement when I was in high school and became a teen trainer for Stop AIDS. I've met amazing people, some still with us, some not...and World AIDS Day for me remains a day to reflect on how far we've come and how far there still is to run in this race. HIV is both preventable and treatable. It's no longer a death sentence here in the U.S. but for the infected in Africa, where the majority of new cases of HIV in the world still occur, those who can't access or afford treatment, the prognosis is far darker.<br />
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A few facts from <a href="http://www.joinred.com/Splash.aspx">Join Red</a>:<br />
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<ul><li>10% of the world’s pop is in Africa yet she's home to 67% of all HIV cases. </li>
<li>It costs around 40 cents a day for the 2 pills that are needed to help keep someone with HIV alive.</li>
<li>33mm people in world have HIV. 22mm live in Africa. </li>
</ul>HIV is treatable, not curable. There is still much to be done domestically and around the globe. Advances. Discoveries.<br />
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How you can help, today, without even trying:<br />
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Buy a handcrafted beverage at any participating Starbucks and they will donate $0.05 per drink to the Global Fund To Fight AIDS in Africa<br />
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Purchase anything from this <a href="http://www.gap.com/browse/category.do?cid=17077&mlink=5058,1539723,8&clink=1539723">GAP collection</a> and half the profits go to the Global Fund To Fight AIDS<br />
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Go Red this holiday season: check out this list of <a href="http://www.joinred.com/Shop.aspx">Product RED gift items</a><br />
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<a href="http://facebook.com/joinred">facebook.com/joinred</a><br />
<a href="http://twitter.com/joinred">twitter.com/joinred</a><br />
<a href="http://www.joinred.com/">http://www.joinred.com/</a><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SxVAj6iMBZI/AAAAAAAAAU0/BhuZGhThsZ8/s1600/haring.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SxVAj6iMBZI/AAAAAAAAAU0/BhuZGhThsZ8/s640/haring.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">image property of the Keith Haring Estate</span><br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-72723904339384666122009-11-24T13:01:00.000-06:002009-11-24T13:01:29.168-06:00Sigh.I don't want to be a creeper. I've withheld all comments on the matter, even when my brain has started creaking under the weight of them. Because of previous events, I feel even a little protective of him.<br />
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But.<br />
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I'm human. A human female who's mind spends the better part of the day in the gutter anyway. So this effort will go a lot more smoothly IF YOU STOP. PUTTING. THINGS. LIKE. THIS. IN. FRONT. OF. MY. EYEBALLS!!!!!!!!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/Swws-2o7JJI/AAAAAAAAAUs/bzbCDozdeGo/s1600/2b9c48367bc74161_TaylorRS.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/Swws-2o7JJI/AAAAAAAAAUs/bzbCDozdeGo/s640/2b9c48367bc74161_TaylorRS.jpg" yr="true" /></a><br />
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</div><div align="left" class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go say the rosary and cry now.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-23552791761526733082009-11-23T16:52:00.001-06:002009-11-23T19:00:21.009-06:00I Open Every Door Expecting An InterventionBetween last Wednesday at 7 p.m. and Friday at 5 p.m., I saw <em>New Moon</em> 3 times. Somehow it doesn't seem as scary now that several days have passed without seeing it. Don't get it twisted though, I know I'll falter and go back.<br />
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To better cope, I've tried to shift my focus to Eclipse's release, which I expect the media blitz to start for any day now. I've added a countdown clock to my page. Yes, I really did.<br />
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It's good to have goals.<br />
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Actually, I could probably use this:<br />
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<object width="384" height="256" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" id="ordie_player_35358066cc"><param name="movie" value="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="key=35358066cc" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed width="384" height="256" flashvars="key=35358066cc" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" quality="high" src="http://player.ordienetworks.com/flash/fodplayer.swf" name="ordie_player_35358066cc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object><div style="text-align:left;font-size:x-small;margin-top:0;width:384px;"><a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/35358066cc/twilight-fans-get-punked" title="from Skyler Stone">Twilight Fans Get Punked</a> - watch more <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/" title="on Funny or Die">funny videos</a></div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-71799954366533785862009-11-19T13:25:00.002-06:002009-11-19T14:06:26.017-06:00Yep. I Saw It.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SwWS00I4d_I/AAAAAAAAAUk/sJ5PNhbjB7E/s1600/425_newmoon_logo_lc_022009.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; cssfloat: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_me2WUJHz1AU/SwWS00I4d_I/AAAAAAAAAUk/sJ5PNhbjB7E/s320/425_newmoon_logo_lc_022009.jpg" yr="true" /></a>I have seen the promised land known as <em>New Moon</em>. I bought tickets to see it opening night but the gods smiled upon me and saw fit to give me screening passes to see it a full night early. Those same gods were clearly shining on me when I got the chance to grab a seat in the theater before the masses were let up (lesson: it's good to know people). I plopped myself in the middle of lower row, ensconsing my self in ooey gooey vamp wolf goodness. Now, if you've read the books, you clearly know the premise of the movie and any spoilers going in and after the media onslaught, who DOESN'T know Jacob turns into a wolf? There's a good reason for that though. Now, having seen New Moon, the movie can really be summed up in three words: Oh hai Jacob!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><em>New Moon</em> is Jacob's story and the movie is Taylor Lautner's to run away with and he does just that. I admit the first few passes through the book I hated Jacob. I thought he was whiny, annoying and just plain in the way of my beloved Edward and Bella. <em>Twilight</em>, the movie, started to change that. I reread the books with more sympathy for Jacob. If there were any lingering hard feelings, <em>New Moon</em> dispels them. Taylor Lautner's Jacob is extremely likable and funny. The entire movie had more funny moments than I expected, but more on that later. The first time Jacob appears on screen (fully clothed), the reaction was audible and far stronger than I expected. And then there is the rest of Jacob. The physically changed Jacob. Yes, it's awkward to think about Taylor Lautner only being 17 but...DAMN. I'll leave it at that but there were a whole lot of slackjawed women (and a few men, let's be honest) in the audience. Jacob and Bella's interactions are the best part of this movie. Yes, Edward and Bella up the steamy kiss level a few notches, but Bella and Jacob are easy together. It makes it that much easier to feel Jacob's frustration. To the point where a woman in front of me yelled "WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM" at Bella during one scene. All in all, I can't imagine anyone BUT Taylor Lautner as Jacob.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The special effects also surprised me in that they were better than I expected. The scenes with the wolves actually made me jump several times. Although it could also be my standards were lowered so far by <em>Twilight</em> and actors being yanked around on strings that I am not seeing things clearly but I think they were actually good. Maybe. Let's say yes.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The secondary characters like Charlie, Jessica and Mike are featured far less in <em>New Moon</em>, but they get some of the better lines in the movie. Their characters act as a further mood lightener for what could have been one heck of an emo-fest. The Volturi also bring something new to the Twi-table. Made up of arguably the best actors of the bunch, the Volturi manage to convey more by saying less. Michael Sheen and Dakota Fanning are deliciously evil.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">All the Team Edward TwiHards don't have to worry, this isn't Edward's movie but even though his absence is the key to this story, you get enough RPattz magic sprinkled in to keep you satisfied. You're might also want to bring a cool beverage for a few of the kissing scenes, because they do not disappoint. Whew! The lack of a reaction to Edward's emergence from the clocktower surprised me though. Jacob got a bigger audience cheer by far. I'm curious to see if that changes tonight.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then there is the end. Oh, the end. I will not spoil anything but I'll say they make it impossible to NOT want to see <em>Eclipse</em> immediately. Cinematic blue balls. That's all I'll say. Some folks hated it, I LOVED it and can't wait to watch everyone else watch it tonight.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Speaking of hate...I have heard from a few people that were disappointed in the movie. Everyone seems to have a scene or line they wish had made it but to those that want the book translated word for word, scene for scene, you've got to let it go. A 600+ page book just can not be made into a 2 hour movie, they've got to keep it moving. Edward and Bella staring at each other over a table might equal fantastic tension in the book but watching them stare at each other for 20 minutes real time would make even the TwiHardiest crack. If I want to watch people stare at each other, I'll watch The Hills.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">There you go, just my thoughts on the matter. I can't wait to see it again tonight...and maybe I'll see you there. Don't throw things at me.<br />
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</div>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-57192921213236975612009-11-19T09:39:00.000-06:002009-11-19T09:39:20.243-06:00Remember Me Trailer. Oh Yes.<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Verdana; font-size: xx-small;"> <br />
<a href="http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=100772647">Remember Me</a><br />
<object height="360" width="425"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"/><param name="wmode" value="transparent"/><param name="movie" value="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=100772647,t=1,mt=video"/><embed src="http://mediaservices.myspace.com/services/media/embed.aspx/m=100772647,t=1,mt=video" width="425" height="360" allowFullScreen="true" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent"></embed></object><br />
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<a href="http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=171184815">Trailer Park</a> | <a href="http://vids.myspace.com/">MySpace Video</a><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">We get to watch Rob slam things around AND nekkid? I'm in. Sign me up. Good God yes.</span><br />
</span>Mehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08263278455576795883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1744174893268079332.post-26676596332348141052009-11-18T15:39:00.000-06:002009-11-18T15:39:57.675-06:00Wordle: Like Crack, But Socially AcceptableI am blaming twitter and @jbomb11 for introducing me to <a href="http://www.wordle.net/">Wordle</a> I've been sucked in. OOH OOH but look what I made for you from the words in my blog!<br />
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</div>Fine, maybe it's the web equivilant of a pencil holder made from popsicle sticks I made you for Mother's Day but I think it's neat, so take a page from my mom's handbook and say thank you, gush over it a little and I'll be on to the next thing. She knows what she's doing, she's been dealing with me for years.<br />
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